stop my beating heart

Some may say happiness comes from many sources. A warm weather day when it should be cold. Surprise guava juice when you return home from a long trip. Sitting on Ke’e beach watching the sunset with a background of wild chickens and the lapping of water. Maybe an amazing concert, a once in a lifetime job opportunity (this could be my big break), a dryer warmed blanket with mint cocoa, drive ins, sleepovers on trampolines, new computers, pants that trick you. Space. Saturn through a telescope. Stars. The moon.

I would say, yes please….but……

Sitting in a delivery room anticipating the second life never will never be the same again, wondering, asking, waiting, waiting, waiting and then……. crying. looking. straining. holding. Without another thought in your mind. You love him, and everything else is just a bonus.

I’m not even talking about my OWN child. Made an aunt 4 times over, with the birth of my 2nd nephew yesterday….I am scared thinking that when I actually give birth to a child of my own fireworks, shooting stars and marching bands may burst out of my heart cavity.

Here’s to Tristan (and wright and steph). I love you. Thanks for making my heart so full.