I keep thinking she was the one who taught me it was possible
and you will be the one to show me it’s endless.
Am I right?
I have done this once before but I know you will need new things. Different things. Things for only you and me.
Right now you are a like a little secret (to everyone but me).
We spend all day together.
You move. I move. You talk. I talk.
I am trying to think good thoughts for us and to only say things that won’t embarrass you.
I know I am your face. I feel that weight.
Not the kind that has built on my hips and my chest but the kind that presses on my heart telling me you are everything.
I worry about all the things I am suppose to worry about and still worry a little bit more about things I know are silly.
Will you call me Mom even if I don’t live up to it?
I do not give up. Not on you. Not on us.
Sometimes I whisper to you in my mind thanking you for being so close (and so forgiving).
I need you.
My sweet sweet boy. Only a few more weeks until I can kiss your lips and touch your skin.
You are not a secret to me
but I am ready for surprise.
She was the one who taught me it was possible
but you will be the one to show me it’s endless.
And I will not be surprised about that.